According to a University of Southern California study, up to 55% of influence in communication comes from your 'body language'. Let's take a look at how you can control it:
First, you must understand that you can control your emotions by controlling your physiology. Some folks say that they can not seem to feel good no matter how much they 'tell' themself to feel good. Try this: Stand up. Smile. Look straight up. Put your shoulders back. Take a deep breath. Now, TRY to feel depressed. Really Try. If you'll do this exercise, you'll find that you can *NOT* get depressed when you move your body this way.
They will tell you when you start out, that you must 'fake it till you make it'. What they are trying to tell you: Move your body AS IF YOU ALREADY KNOW what you are doing, and your brain will begin to believe you do in fact know what you are doing.
If you are in tele-selling or sitting behind a desk conducting business with clients who you never see face to face: Get yourself a MIRROR. Look at yourself WHILE you sell or are talking with others. This is a strategy that will help you condition your mind and body to become aware of how you are holding your body. Ask yourself this question: Does my customer think I am a 'marshmallow' or a real business leader? Which one would you like to be?
The FIRST person you need to impact with positive body language is not others, but rather YOURSELF. If you can not influence yourself to change your emotional state of being, how can you impact others? So, HOW do you do this? Start by controlling your breath. Experiment with taking DEEP breaths, increase or slow down the speed of your breathing. The FASTEST way to change your state & body language is to change your breathing.
The Mirroring & Matching Technique: Mirror the physiology of the customer or person you wish to influence. If they are down, go down to their level. If they are UP, come up to their level. If they are talking fast, you talk fast. If they are slouching, you slouch. Then, as you talking with them, slowing begin to make small changes in your body. Your goal is to bring the person you are trying to influence, into the physiology that will be most effective for getting your end outcome, and you want the other party to feel good about themself, you, and being with you.
Use exercise to lift yourself up. You can best experiment with practicing new physiology positions while at the gym, because it is totally acceptable to stretch yourself while working out. You might also want to try it at home in front of a mirror.
Demand MORE from yourself. Expect MORE from yourself. Your mind will follow the lead you dictate for your body and your life. I've found that the mind can not make up its' own mind sometimes. Start by deciding to control your body language in order to feel better about yourself. Over time, others will begin to feel better about themself while they are around you, because they are unconsciously mirroring or emulating you.
This Piece Was Submitted By Entrepreneur, Author, Business Builder and Email/Web/Internet Strategist, Christopher M. Knight.
